well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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