It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Randomize
