Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
