if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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