I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
