Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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