This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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