nut hugger
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
