Your face is a jimmy john
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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