Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
