is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
