You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
