Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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