My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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