so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
