but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
