Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Is her dick bigger than yours?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize
