i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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