so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize