Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
