Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
