yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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