Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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