hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
