So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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