So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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