Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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