Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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