i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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