like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
