I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
