Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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