I wish my penis had an off switch
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
