i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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