What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
