there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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