Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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