The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Randomize
