I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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