I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
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