you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Randomize
