Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize