Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
