i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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