I love you!
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together