Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
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yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
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Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.