haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
