hotel room ftw
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
