dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize