3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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