so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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