it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
