Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Randomize
