I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
