you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
