I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
