I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
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hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
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I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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