Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
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