At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
